i didnt study for maths last night cos i was too disraught.
is he worth it? i feel so foolish now. cos the paper was doable.yet..
Woke up with terrible excruciating bodyaches. my entire body is aching. my upper thighs, my torso, my back, my shoulders, my arms. I couldnt jump for nuts. i did reasonably well for the other 4 items.but getting an E for standing broad jump, gahhhh, i am still goin to get a BRONZE only. sigh.i didnt stretch before running my 2.4km run on monday. my thighs were still hurting when i did the jump. maybe i 'll request for a retake.
woke up and cried again.i am very stressed. stressed up over studies, mr K and some domestic affairs.
went to school late. met the most infamous discipline master at the gate.he chided me for having my gp tutor's number and not my civics tutor's. is there a problem? my civics tutor didnt give us her number. i dont see y i need to have my civics tutor's number in the first place.
he will be checking up on me. he clamis he has a fantastic memory.i was gloating at what he said cos i have been late for more than 3 times.dont you recognise my name at all mr tong?
when i entered class this morning, my gp tutor asked if i was alright. i was close to the brink of tears. i left class immediately. i cried again. mrs lee was so nice to listen to my problems patiently and gave me solutions to them. and she gave me a book mark as a form of encouragement.
the words are extremly comforting
here goes:
Dear Melissa,
cast all your cares upon the LORD for he careth for you. He will make a way.
when trouble overwhelms our hearts, there is hope for our despair. for we can cope with confidence if we handled it with prayer.
talking and sharing with her, it really does makes a difference. words that impacted me " think about it. if he is studying now. so must you. love yourself. study hard. this is all you can do for your A levels, your future. you can always settle score with him after A levels. "
i am so touched by mrs lee's sincerity. i am thankful that god has sent a guardian angel to me. so from now onwards, i will try my best to focus. pick myself up. and learn to let go. first step i will do:
when i see him, around in school, i shall just show him the face which i want him to see. which is the expression of how disgusted i am with you.
( i felt darn good when i saw him along the corridoor and just looked away immediately, deliberately. i knew he was looking at me.)
i shall avoid all swimmers. i dont want their updates anymore. even if we talk, it will be about everything except him.
i've blocked him on msn.
-----------------------
next step, i shall stop writing letters to him. i shall stop questioning.
lastly, i will delete his very few remaining messages in my inbox.
-----------------------
dear God,
help me to pull through my ordeals. help me to let go. give me the courage and strength. help me not to think so much. whether its his dad's excuse or studying with a year one girl though nothing is goin on.Erase him out of my mind.
only you can do that.
i am goin to study in 15 minutes time. help me to concentrate and relief my sufferings.
amen.
is he worth it? i feel so foolish now. cos the paper was doable.yet..
Woke up with terrible excruciating bodyaches. my entire body is aching. my upper thighs, my torso, my back, my shoulders, my arms. I couldnt jump for nuts. i did reasonably well for the other 4 items.but getting an E for standing broad jump, gahhhh, i am still goin to get a BRONZE only. sigh.i didnt stretch before running my 2.4km run on monday. my thighs were still hurting when i did the jump. maybe i 'll request for a retake.
woke up and cried again.i am very stressed. stressed up over studies, mr K and some domestic affairs.
went to school late. met the most infamous discipline master at the gate.he chided me for having my gp tutor's number and not my civics tutor's. is there a problem? my civics tutor didnt give us her number. i dont see y i need to have my civics tutor's number in the first place.
he will be checking up on me. he clamis he has a fantastic memory.i was gloating at what he said cos i have been late for more than 3 times.dont you recognise my name at all mr tong?
when i entered class this morning, my gp tutor asked if i was alright. i was close to the brink of tears. i left class immediately. i cried again. mrs lee was so nice to listen to my problems patiently and gave me solutions to them. and she gave me a book mark as a form of encouragement.
the words are extremly comforting
here goes:
Dear Melissa,
cast all your cares upon the LORD for he careth for you. He will make a way.
when trouble overwhelms our hearts, there is hope for our despair. for we can cope with confidence if we handled it with prayer.
talking and sharing with her, it really does makes a difference. words that impacted me " think about it. if he is studying now. so must you. love yourself. study hard. this is all you can do for your A levels, your future. you can always settle score with him after A levels. "
i am so touched by mrs lee's sincerity. i am thankful that god has sent a guardian angel to me. so from now onwards, i will try my best to focus. pick myself up. and learn to let go. first step i will do:
when i see him, around in school, i shall just show him the face which i want him to see. which is the expression of how disgusted i am with you.
( i felt darn good when i saw him along the corridoor and just looked away immediately, deliberately. i knew he was looking at me.)
i shall avoid all swimmers. i dont want their updates anymore. even if we talk, it will be about everything except him.
i've blocked him on msn.
-----------------------
next step, i shall stop writing letters to him. i shall stop questioning.
lastly, i will delete his very few remaining messages in my inbox.
-----------------------
dear God,
help me to pull through my ordeals. help me to let go. give me the courage and strength. help me not to think so much. whether its his dad's excuse or studying with a year one girl though nothing is goin on.Erase him out of my mind.
only you can do that.
i am goin to study in 15 minutes time. help me to concentrate and relief my sufferings.
amen.
meL
7:06 PM
Saturday, July 29, 20067:06 PM
last afternoon, my physics teacher asked how my other results were.
i told him this: atrocious. every single subject, i dropped by 10 to 15 marks. that includes my best subject, maths.
mr koh: can tell me why? ( in his monotone voice)
me:erm..i had some problems during the june holidays. but dont worry. i have moved on. though i am not really over it, i will try my best to focus.
mr koh: ( no reply. but gave me the epxression hoping that i would elaborae my problem)
me: burst out laughing and said: mr koh..did you realise i have been so distracted for the past 2 weeks? haha..you want to know the problem ar?
mr koh: nods his head excitedly and laughed.
me: eh..ok la. i'll tell you . but not now. and i ran away laughing with yinghui.
my gosh. mr koh is such a sweet teacher. he did ask me once if i had problems. but i never told him anything. his reaction was so hilarious. i cant tell him anything anyway. cos K is his student too.
sometimes, to think about it, everythign is has been planned. like for example, i was the only person who was transferred out of X class to my current, Y class. yet he on the other hand, was the only person transferred from his previous, T class to X class.
the sliding door effect?
anyway, hanging out with xinyi last evening was good. she made me feel so much better with all her crazy antics. like, how to get back with K. For example, make him regret and drool by dolling me up on prom night and she'll prepare pre mixed whip cream and flour and walk out to him after prom. and " PAMP". projectile motion it onto his face. ( lol. i quote her: thats it. he cant spend his night partying cos the mixture will be stuck onto his face.")
gwenn..if you want, she ll do it on you - know- who shall not be named on my blog. xinyi is so irked by her.I AGREE TOO.i didnt think girls could be that desperate and hmmm..horny? quite appropriate right?
i took home alot of goodies too. wee! raided xinyi's wadrobe and she gave me loads of clothes. mostly are ZARA bottoms and a clubbing warehouse top.
haha..too bad. she lost so much weight!
-------
Oh yes. anyone who are interested in Lacoste Polo Tee..please inform me! i have good "lobangs".
-------
i realised how much i have negelected my family. take for example, my dad told me this morning he is goin to shenzhen for a job interview. i am quite apprehensive about it, given his condition. but i guess he is facing job difficulties in his current job.
i hope he'll get through this inteview cos its a really good job.
-------
dear God,
for the past few years, everytime i pray to you in church, it has been the same phrases each time. please dear god,once again, help my dad find a stable job which will make him happy and less stressful.
thank you. amen.
---------
i feel excited for my dad. i really hope he gets this job. and i pray that god will guide him through.
--------
in another disturbing news which bugs me, i am shocked that pple whom i am not so close to approached me and asked: broke up with K already?
i gave them the stunned look
. i contemplated to even say this to them" did it ever happen in the first place?"
oh well. i just smiled to them and walked away. i believe his swimming pple must have have gossiping a lot. so probably, these pple are on K's camp.
-------
mrs Lee 's advices really shook me. i didnt cry :)
but this morning, when i woke up, i felt a sense of loss. i do miss him. but i tell myself this: he chose to leave you. thats his loss. not mine. too bad for him.
these days, when i miss him, i write him letters. but i ll never pass it to him. some how, it makes me feel better after wrtining those heart felt words which i really want to tell him.
goin to church later. i really want to meet him and his family. i want to see their reaction when they see me.
gives me the thrill.
till then, i shall start on complex numbers. i am the only person in class who is laggin behind! goodness me.
oh yea..to yinghui..if you are reading my blog: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
i told him this: atrocious. every single subject, i dropped by 10 to 15 marks. that includes my best subject, maths.
mr koh: can tell me why? ( in his monotone voice)
me:erm..i had some problems during the june holidays. but dont worry. i have moved on. though i am not really over it, i will try my best to focus.
mr koh: ( no reply. but gave me the epxression hoping that i would elaborae my problem)
me: burst out laughing and said: mr koh..did you realise i have been so distracted for the past 2 weeks? haha..you want to know the problem ar?
mr koh: nods his head excitedly and laughed.
me: eh..ok la. i'll tell you . but not now. and i ran away laughing with yinghui.
my gosh. mr koh is such a sweet teacher. he did ask me once if i had problems. but i never told him anything. his reaction was so hilarious. i cant tell him anything anyway. cos K is his student too.
sometimes, to think about it, everythign is has been planned. like for example, i was the only person who was transferred out of X class to my current, Y class. yet he on the other hand, was the only person transferred from his previous, T class to X class.
the sliding door effect?
anyway, hanging out with xinyi last evening was good. she made me feel so much better with all her crazy antics. like, how to get back with K. For example, make him regret and drool by dolling me up on prom night and she'll prepare pre mixed whip cream and flour and walk out to him after prom. and " PAMP". projectile motion it onto his face. ( lol. i quote her: thats it. he cant spend his night partying cos the mixture will be stuck onto his face.")
gwenn..if you want, she ll do it on you - know- who shall not be named on my blog. xinyi is so irked by her.I AGREE TOO.i didnt think girls could be that desperate and hmmm..horny? quite appropriate right?
i took home alot of goodies too. wee! raided xinyi's wadrobe and she gave me loads of clothes. mostly are ZARA bottoms and a clubbing warehouse top.
haha..too bad. she lost so much weight!
-------
Oh yes. anyone who are interested in Lacoste Polo Tee..please inform me! i have good "lobangs".
-------
i realised how much i have negelected my family. take for example, my dad told me this morning he is goin to shenzhen for a job interview. i am quite apprehensive about it, given his condition. but i guess he is facing job difficulties in his current job.
i hope he'll get through this inteview cos its a really good job.
-------
dear God,
for the past few years, everytime i pray to you in church, it has been the same phrases each time. please dear god,once again, help my dad find a stable job which will make him happy and less stressful.
thank you. amen.
---------
i feel excited for my dad. i really hope he gets this job. and i pray that god will guide him through.
--------
in another disturbing news which bugs me, i am shocked that pple whom i am not so close to approached me and asked: broke up with K already?
i gave them the stunned look
. i contemplated to even say this to them" did it ever happen in the first place?"
oh well. i just smiled to them and walked away. i believe his swimming pple must have have gossiping a lot. so probably, these pple are on K's camp.
-------
mrs Lee 's advices really shook me. i didnt cry :)
but this morning, when i woke up, i felt a sense of loss. i do miss him. but i tell myself this: he chose to leave you. thats his loss. not mine. too bad for him.
these days, when i miss him, i write him letters. but i ll never pass it to him. some how, it makes me feel better after wrtining those heart felt words which i really want to tell him.
goin to church later. i really want to meet him and his family. i want to see their reaction when they see me.
gives me the thrill.
till then, i shall start on complex numbers. i am the only person in class who is laggin behind! goodness me.
oh yea..to yinghui..if you are reading my blog: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
meL
11:40 AM
Tuesday, July 25, 200611:40 AM
this morning, my Gp teacher came up to me.She knows i am troubled. she will talk to me soon. i think i might get too emotional and burst out crying. at home, i try to be strong. and shrug it of when my parents talk about my problem. i just dont want to talk to them about such things. i prefer to consult friends. but it has come to a point whereby i think i really need an adult to help me. i think maybe mrs lee can help. she is the only teacher who is kind enough to ask how i am, how am i coping with my work, and she will always support me.
as she was talking to me, mr K walked past. i really didnt see him at all. then, i almost broke into tears by what mrs lee had to say to me. i hope he didnt hear anything. according to yinghui, he just looked away nonchantly.
its so hard to get over him.
each time i want to confront him, either i cant bear to or i cant be bothered to. cos will he even care? will i get satisfactory answers? or like what caryn says..will it be another blow to me. or..like what guo quan says.."maybe he will feel guilty or something as you speal to him.but hey, after that, he ll probably snigger to himself and laugh at you. cos he doesnt like you anymore. he has someone new. rememeber? what you say to him , he wouldnt give a damn."
everyday, my mood fluctuate. i find myself reapproaching myself." mel..y did you have such a big ego. if you know you wont be able to handle the aftermath of a break up..y did you let him go so easily? "
but i am so foolish. its so obvious he has moved on if he bothers to look for another girl.
was goin to settle down to start doing tutorial when steph gave me a buzz.." hey..i am at the library now. guess who is here? K and the same girl."
i swear i had high blood pressure.
but i came to my senses. if he is studying, so must i.
so i did. however, i was so curious who that girl was, i started calling LPQ gang and caryn to help me check up that girl.
LPQ gang couldnt find them :(
but steph says the girl isnt that pretty. i am prettier. wee.
i take great consolation. but who cares, i think i am the prettiest of all the girls he ever liked.
-------
sometimes, i want to patch up with him. i want him back so much.
but i can only choose one. relationship or studies.
i know the fact i cant handle both. so, i shall move on and not let this bad experience affect my A levels.
i shall screw him after my A's.
on prom night, i swear i will make him drool. my dearest xinyi will doll me up right??
--------
today's Gp lesson was quite meaningful to me. i thank mrs lee again. for initiating the topic: how do you derive happiness?
before i met K, happiness to me was my achivements. i thought back of my singlehood days..i was always striving to excel academically. when i got into junior college, my definition of happiness has "cheapened". in a sense whereby i preferred love.
------
typing the post, i feel so determined to move on. who cares about what he is doing now. whether he is with that girl or not, its reality. its over between us.
like i say..my mood fluctuates. i hope i can maintain my sane state till the end of A levels.
-----
i want to thank all my friends. really, i owe you girls and guys so much. i will never forget your graciousness, love and encouragements.
its becos of your encouragements that i am able to move on. really. i am so thankful to GOD for giving me a pool of supportive friends.
-----
i hope he has friends to turn too. considering swimmers are his true friends.but what, there are only at most 3? including his new " hitch"..at most 4? haha..blimme. i am cynical.
at times, i really want to tell him this: speaking as an outsider, i want to let you know you are a jerk. speaking as a fellow catholic, i so despise what you are doin and what you have done.
but ultimately, i believe i will never tell him that.
cos i still do love him.
by telling him that, i dont mean to hurt him. i cant bear to see him hurt either.
i guess this is the only way i can seek a closure.
i am not even goin to pursue matters that he blantantly announces to the population that " i broke up with melissa".
by right, he left me hanging and its not finalised.
by doin so, i dont have to feel tired all the time.
its time mel, to tone down this whole episode.
as she was talking to me, mr K walked past. i really didnt see him at all. then, i almost broke into tears by what mrs lee had to say to me. i hope he didnt hear anything. according to yinghui, he just looked away nonchantly.
its so hard to get over him.
each time i want to confront him, either i cant bear to or i cant be bothered to. cos will he even care? will i get satisfactory answers? or like what caryn says..will it be another blow to me. or..like what guo quan says.."maybe he will feel guilty or something as you speal to him.but hey, after that, he ll probably snigger to himself and laugh at you. cos he doesnt like you anymore. he has someone new. rememeber? what you say to him , he wouldnt give a damn."
everyday, my mood fluctuate. i find myself reapproaching myself." mel..y did you have such a big ego. if you know you wont be able to handle the aftermath of a break up..y did you let him go so easily? "
but i am so foolish. its so obvious he has moved on if he bothers to look for another girl.
was goin to settle down to start doing tutorial when steph gave me a buzz.." hey..i am at the library now. guess who is here? K and the same girl."
i swear i had high blood pressure.
but i came to my senses. if he is studying, so must i.
so i did. however, i was so curious who that girl was, i started calling LPQ gang and caryn to help me check up that girl.
LPQ gang couldnt find them :(
but steph says the girl isnt that pretty. i am prettier. wee.
i take great consolation. but who cares, i think i am the prettiest of all the girls he ever liked.
-------
sometimes, i want to patch up with him. i want him back so much.
but i can only choose one. relationship or studies.
i know the fact i cant handle both. so, i shall move on and not let this bad experience affect my A levels.
i shall screw him after my A's.
on prom night, i swear i will make him drool. my dearest xinyi will doll me up right??
--------
today's Gp lesson was quite meaningful to me. i thank mrs lee again. for initiating the topic: how do you derive happiness?
before i met K, happiness to me was my achivements. i thought back of my singlehood days..i was always striving to excel academically. when i got into junior college, my definition of happiness has "cheapened". in a sense whereby i preferred love.
------
typing the post, i feel so determined to move on. who cares about what he is doing now. whether he is with that girl or not, its reality. its over between us.
like i say..my mood fluctuates. i hope i can maintain my sane state till the end of A levels.
-----
i want to thank all my friends. really, i owe you girls and guys so much. i will never forget your graciousness, love and encouragements.
its becos of your encouragements that i am able to move on. really. i am so thankful to GOD for giving me a pool of supportive friends.
-----
i hope he has friends to turn too. considering swimmers are his true friends.but what, there are only at most 3? including his new " hitch"..at most 4? haha..blimme. i am cynical.
at times, i really want to tell him this: speaking as an outsider, i want to let you know you are a jerk. speaking as a fellow catholic, i so despise what you are doin and what you have done.
but ultimately, i believe i will never tell him that.
cos i still do love him.
by telling him that, i dont mean to hurt him. i cant bear to see him hurt either.
i guess this is the only way i can seek a closure.
i am not even goin to pursue matters that he blantantly announces to the population that " i broke up with melissa".
by right, he left me hanging and its not finalised.
by doin so, i dont have to feel tired all the time.
its time mel, to tone down this whole episode.
meL
8:02 PM
Saturday, July 22, 20068:02 PM
i am so digusted.
he is really a jerk.
so much for giving ridiculous excuses. using daddy as a protection.
in actual fact, he has someone new.
urgh.
feel like slapping him across his face.
i really do.
that will appease my anger
i wouldnt give a damn what others might say.
he deserves it.
period.
----------
becos of him, he robbed me of my soul for 2 weeks. i may seem normal. but i am not.
its painful. no matter how much i try not to think about it, i cant help it. memories, both good and bad drifts into my mind. i plant myself right infront of class during tutorials. yet, it doesnt help.
Good Lord has been sending people to break news to me. Each time, the news just get worse. the reason of the break up is so obvious to me. but i find it so hard to accept it. Infidelity.
y is it that i have to be the one suffering and he, probably enjoying his new company of girl- friend/girl-friends? its so cruel.
------
dear God,
please help me to get out of this abyss. this period of time has been an emotional roller coaster ride. help me to invest my thoughts in my studies rather than think about him.
its not worth it. please god, save me. spare me from any agony. protect me.
amen.
-----
i find everything such a huge joke being played one me. I expect pple sharing the same religion as me to have at least some humanity values inculcated in them. not forgetting, he is in the same church as i am.
i am DISGUSTED.
he is really a jerk.
so much for giving ridiculous excuses. using daddy as a protection.
in actual fact, he has someone new.
urgh.
feel like slapping him across his face.
i really do.
that will appease my anger
i wouldnt give a damn what others might say.
he deserves it.
period.
----------
becos of him, he robbed me of my soul for 2 weeks. i may seem normal. but i am not.
its painful. no matter how much i try not to think about it, i cant help it. memories, both good and bad drifts into my mind. i plant myself right infront of class during tutorials. yet, it doesnt help.
Good Lord has been sending people to break news to me. Each time, the news just get worse. the reason of the break up is so obvious to me. but i find it so hard to accept it. Infidelity.
y is it that i have to be the one suffering and he, probably enjoying his new company of girl- friend/girl-friends? its so cruel.
------
dear God,
please help me to get out of this abyss. this period of time has been an emotional roller coaster ride. help me to invest my thoughts in my studies rather than think about him.
its not worth it. please god, save me. spare me from any agony. protect me.
amen.
-----
i find everything such a huge joke being played one me. I expect pple sharing the same religion as me to have at least some humanity values inculcated in them. not forgetting, he is in the same church as i am.
i am DISGUSTED.
meL
9:18 AM
Sunday, July 09, 20069:18 AM
to my dearest friends who worry for me,
i am ok. really. breaking up is the best decision i guess.looking back at old photos, i looked so much happier then. its better for me to return to the days before i met him.
ok. but i feel a little repugnant cos he was the one who initiated it. yet, after saying my piece, there was no response from him.what a err...hum-chee?
to make things worse, it was settled via sms. to hell with technology sometimes.
i heard he was out at orchard with his fellow cca mates when he suggested the break up and will be having fun later with his friends at his house with world cup.
what the hell!
if he is so unaffected by everythign, y should i feel miserable or wallow in self pity?
its so not worth it. i am pissed that my grades were affected by him yet i didnt even realise when all my teachers and friends realised that my sudden drop in grades has got to do with some personal affairs.
gah.mel, you wake up!dont be a naive little girl anymore.
oh well, i wrote him a letter. will pass him tmr.
friends in future?
i doubt so.
A levels, my priority.
i quote a friend:" where is the melissa who once had high regards to her studies?"
all i need now is moral support and encouragement.with you pple around, i believe the melissa will bounce back to her normal self.
------------------------------------
dear God,
give me the strength to pull through this ordeal. give me the courage to come to terms to this break up. please send your guardian angels to guide and watch me.
Amen.
i am ok. really. breaking up is the best decision i guess.looking back at old photos, i looked so much happier then. its better for me to return to the days before i met him.
ok. but i feel a little repugnant cos he was the one who initiated it. yet, after saying my piece, there was no response from him.what a err...hum-chee?
to make things worse, it was settled via sms. to hell with technology sometimes.
i heard he was out at orchard with his fellow cca mates when he suggested the break up and will be having fun later with his friends at his house with world cup.
what the hell!
if he is so unaffected by everythign, y should i feel miserable or wallow in self pity?
its so not worth it. i am pissed that my grades were affected by him yet i didnt even realise when all my teachers and friends realised that my sudden drop in grades has got to do with some personal affairs.
gah.mel, you wake up!dont be a naive little girl anymore.
oh well, i wrote him a letter. will pass him tmr.
friends in future?
i doubt so.
A levels, my priority.
i quote a friend:" where is the melissa who once had high regards to her studies?"
all i need now is moral support and encouragement.with you pple around, i believe the melissa will bounce back to her normal self.
------------------------------------
dear God,
give me the strength to pull through this ordeal. give me the courage to come to terms to this break up. please send your guardian angels to guide and watch me.
Amen.
meL
11:01 PM
Friday, June 30, 200611:01 PM
everyone!
try this. think its easier to park cars? first hand experience here!
its FUN.
pain in the neck sometimes. but hey, the thrill us there!
http://www.107.peugeot.co.uk/peugeot.swf
try this. think its easier to park cars? first hand experience here!
its FUN.
pain in the neck sometimes. but hey, the thrill us there!
http://www.107.peugeot.co.uk/peugeot.swf
meL
12:36 PM
Thursday, June 29, 200612:36 PM
JCT is finally overrr.
but i am so upset over it. i predict i'll get Os and Es.
Chem was disappointing. First time in my entire life i left so many blanks. Rather. i left an entire 10 mark question blank by accident! i was so disorganised, i omitted attempting a question by default. Sigh.
Suppose to be meeting Mr K later. Hope things will turn out well. It has been a roller coaster ride for me since 3 Sundays ago. (the week before father's day) Things just went hay-wired. Each time we made up, it was always an unconvincing one. We might say,"lets start anew". But, the next day, war hails again. This whole saga made me so depressed. i cried behind closed doors or when ever i re read those text messages.
Fortunately, i had to friends to fall back on.And i am so thankful for them. Without their companionship, i would have lack the drive to study.
Well, he promised to move on and not dwell on those issues anymore. So thats why i am a little apprehensive of the meeting later. What if i say or do stuff that its of displeasure to him unconsciously again?
Will the cycle then repeat?
oh well.
In any case, my latest craze is tofu!heh.not the white soft beancurd. but Tofu keychains. can be bought from those kiddy egg ball machine at 1 dollar.i just need 3 more tofu to complete my collection.i think they are adorable. First time in my life i will actually splurge on such toys!
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i shall Enjoy my long weekend. Cos i know i just flunk most of my subjects. once results are released, it'll be down to solid revision. For the next few months. no choice! A levels is so close now. i have been procastinating for most of my time in college. i need to get brush up and be a hard core mugger now. i hope my brother can motivate me. he is one big veejay mugger. mugs day and night. and he is only a Year 1 student.
not much time left. i want the next few coming months to be a fruitful revision for me. this is my challange. hopefully, after A levels, when i review this entry, i'll be able to tell myself." good job mel. you can now enjoy your holidays. Cos you've worked hard for it."
but i am so upset over it. i predict i'll get Os and Es.
Chem was disappointing. First time in my entire life i left so many blanks. Rather. i left an entire 10 mark question blank by accident! i was so disorganised, i omitted attempting a question by default. Sigh.
Suppose to be meeting Mr K later. Hope things will turn out well. It has been a roller coaster ride for me since 3 Sundays ago. (the week before father's day) Things just went hay-wired. Each time we made up, it was always an unconvincing one. We might say,"lets start anew". But, the next day, war hails again. This whole saga made me so depressed. i cried behind closed doors or when ever i re read those text messages.
Fortunately, i had to friends to fall back on.And i am so thankful for them. Without their companionship, i would have lack the drive to study.
Well, he promised to move on and not dwell on those issues anymore. So thats why i am a little apprehensive of the meeting later. What if i say or do stuff that its of displeasure to him unconsciously again?
Will the cycle then repeat?
oh well.
In any case, my latest craze is tofu!heh.not the white soft beancurd. but Tofu keychains. can be bought from those kiddy egg ball machine at 1 dollar.i just need 3 more tofu to complete my collection.i think they are adorable. First time in my life i will actually splurge on such toys!
----------
i shall Enjoy my long weekend. Cos i know i just flunk most of my subjects. once results are released, it'll be down to solid revision. For the next few months. no choice! A levels is so close now. i have been procastinating for most of my time in college. i need to get brush up and be a hard core mugger now. i hope my brother can motivate me. he is one big veejay mugger. mugs day and night. and he is only a Year 1 student.
not much time left. i want the next few coming months to be a fruitful revision for me. this is my challange. hopefully, after A levels, when i review this entry, i'll be able to tell myself." good job mel. you can now enjoy your holidays. Cos you've worked hard for it."
meL
6:00 PM
6:00 PM